kishaz

Tonight's segment is going to be delayed. I have about 1,000 words written, but I know if I ended it at the 600-ish, it'd stop at a really lame cliffhanger. So I'm going to squish today's and tomorrow's into one file, so we can get that whole conundrum in one set.

I don't know if I'll keep updating every two days, but it might happen for a few chapter things just so you can get it all in one shot. :'D

For now, things are going well. I'm finding the storytelling is flowing quite smoothly- I've only been stuck in one minor rut so far, and I just had to plow through it. When you're actually doing it, it's really nice to have that thought in the back of your mind going, "Just keep writing- you can figure this tedious thing out after November." So it's like a perfect justification to pump out shit.

Hahahaha. I got that one from you, Brittany. Geddonit! Luck luck luck luck!

....NoWriMo, ladies and gentlemen, the challenge is upon us!
And if it's not upon you, then at least it's upon me!

So just to make sure- or rather, just to encourage the continuation of this project, I'm gonna break down what I'm doing in this journal:

Statistically, I have to write 1,666 works each day.
I want to write about KeepSake- if I don't get it finished by 50 000 words, at least I can take solace in the idea that it's interesting enough to write about for 50 000 words.
Aaaand I may-or-may-not be posting up these 1666 segments on DA under scraps or just literature, just to keep me motivated. THings are always easier to do when you have an audience.

So wish me luck! And to all of you doing it, I wish you luck as well!

Onto other things.

So this Halloween, I willingly did absolutely nothing.
And it felt GREAT.
I realize just how much disdain I have for a holiday like that: Overpriced costumes; customers stumbling into fabricland without wind of an idea of how to sew a straight line, yet they're aiming to make Elizabethan floor-gowns in two weeks; the idea that if you're a girl, you need to dress like a slut to get attention; and of course every drunk, crack-smoking, screaming trollop running downtown from Friday to Monday.
Oh but I make costumes! I'm a cosplayer!
But that's exactly the point. I get better reception at conventions year round for dressing up, so I'm not missing out on anything sans candy- and my bros still ToT, so it's not like I have no access to their spoils.

So in conclusion, Halloween is no longer something I celebrate.

In other news, I'm going to be going to therapy in 14 days. Here's hoping I can hang on that long.

In other-other news, I just got lazy.

Woah ho ho, I haven't been here in a million years- That was me having a glorious summer vacation. It was glorious. And also, school. FFFFFfffffuck school.

Just kidding children. School's good for you. Don't be me. :'D

So how has everyone been? I've been everywhere- currently, I'm stuck on a slab of rock balanced on the peak of a mountain. That's short form for it.

Long form? Let's leave that to the second third of this journal, and fill in with some happier things first.
I'm in Grade TWELVE this year, oh wow. Grade twelve. That means I'm one year closer to sleeping in on September first, one year closer to moving out, and one year closer to going to fashion design school.
I'm also eighteen in February. Little bit early to be thinking about it, but like most things, I'll probably just... not do anything about it. Hup.
More recently, I will be doing an All-Nighter laser tag with Brittany on the 29th. Even more impressive is the fact that I'll be going to work six hours after it finishes, so wish me luck. Energy drinks will be my staple those two days.

Oh! My tumblr's url changed: accreation.tumblr.com It's our cosplay tumblr! So if you feel like keeping more recent tabs on me, 'cause I blab about my life on their too, go ahead and follow us! or pop in once in a while. I'd appreciate it like x10 000, please please please and thank you.

As far as art-relevant stuff goes, I'm gonna be taking another stab at my KeepSake comic sometime in... March. March. I've had so much of my storyline worked out already, but I always feel like I'm missing details- But I'll always be missing details, for heaven's sakes. So if I can give myself a deadline for the first TRUE page, I'll be more inclined to, you know, actually work out the plot. lordie lordie.
So in the meantime for that? I'll be posting character turn-arounds, models, sketch cards, landscape models for the provinces, etc. to keep my non-existent audience posted on all of that.
As far as Akuroku relevant stuff goes: First, a psuedo-poll: And be honest, I've watched people for less so it's okay: Who watches me for Akuroku? I ask this because, well.... Now hold onto your chairs, everyone, but I've been falling out of Akuroku recently.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH. WHAT. Yes you heard me. Now it's more out of bitter sentiment that I've been letting it slip, but if you want to keep seeing Akuroku from me? Seriously, let me know. I've got hundreds of pictures that never made it to the forefront that I can draw, post, and such- and it wouldn't be a chore. I still love Akuroku. Just... it's been missing for a while. I see it sometimes and I'm like, "Wow, people still draw that?" It's kind of sad, actually, something that made up so much of my adolescence feeling old to me. That'd be like me saying that Disney feels old. Kinda. But I'm still in the stage that if you shoved me in the right direction, I'd be swimming in Akuroku like some strange aquatic ginger. So let me know if that's something you want to be seeing from me still.

Speaking on things that have to do with over-the-top-fandoms and a fanbase whose IQs couldn't beat a monkey at chess, I've started reading Homestuck.
Y-yeah. It's okay. The Unwatch button should be in the top-right corner of your screen.
But if you remembered that you're a good friend and you swallowed your disgust to keep reading, I know it's shameful. I can't stand the Homestuck fanbase in the same way I can't stand the Hetalia fanbase- apart from their IQs, the majority of them are disrespectful, loud, obnoxious, and have a tendency to pound their fandom down other's throats- not to mention they ship everything that has legs- Hell they even ship things without legs (Read: Travos- I'm sorry, that was a bad joke no one's gonna get).
But, conversely, that's the word-to-word definition of the Kingdom Hearts fanbase, and I put up with that for the series. Which is why I'll probably be posting Homestuck fanart, along with the possibility of cosplaying at least three of the characters sometime this year. But I can almost-promise you won't hear a whole lot about it, unless you want to hear about it. I'll behave, I swear.

Maybe.

>>

So aside from all of that, here's a long-form recap as to why my life sucks:
Shortly after having the best vacation ever with my bros , and , I came home to find my family life in disarray- not that it hasn't always been, but it was that point in the year where everything went to the shitter. It was miserable. I found myself staying at Tristan's and Audrey's apartment more and more. One day, I came home to find my dad unusually quiet, and my mom absent from the house.
Two background picks of information: My mom's an escort (A legalized prostitute) and until recently, a "functioning" alcoholic. By functioning I of course mean verbally violent, unreasonable, and socially isolating.
So I knew something had happened, so I asked him what happened. It turns out that my mom had gotten shitfaced the night before, and upon coming home and getting into a fiery argument, my mom had decided that the next best course of action would be to beat and claw at my dad. I could go into details, but that's a little brutal to put on a journal. The short form of all that is that I went about a week and a half trying to face the idea that my mom would never be allowed in the house again. Of course who else is there to lift me up and keep me strong but Tristan, Audrey, and Danae? So there was all that. My mom's back in the house now and things are calming. It's weird. But I still don't trust it. I'm waiting for her to pick up a bottle and start all that shit all over again, really.
And then there's the whole identity crisis- ohhh, fff. I'm sure no one wants to hear about that. But if you DO want to hear about it, I wrote all about it in my slightly-not-happier tumblr: shayworks.tumblr.com. It's all a bit humdrum, but I'm going to counselling for it, among other things, tomorrow. Huzzah!
Way's also been kinda quiet recently, which freaks me out. I'm not supposed to face shit on my own. That's not right.
School is always there. Moreso is the desire to get my old self back. I envy Nellie Shay(la), the brash and outlandish caricature of everything annoying in the world- but who, at the same time, didn't give a rat's ass about it, and loved herself for it... sort of. I mean that person had tonnes of friends. When did that change? When did I start getting scared of talking to others, scared of what others saw me as, scared of the sound of my own breathing? No word of a joke on the last thought- I'll be walking down a crowded hall and freak out about how my breathing sounds to other people. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies (lolgreatsourceright?) describes this as social anxiety. Lolwhat? Wonderful. Because I know on top of every other thing I've diagnosed myself with, this isn't a big deal to have right? Pff this is why I need counseling.

Oh golly this is degrading into a big baww fest. I need the last third of this to be happy.

Except I'm too lazy to type, whoops.

So an ancient time ago, I wanted to do some collaberations. Would anyone still be up for that?

There's my happy third. Expect more work from me, though. I'm not dead yet.

Truly,

Shay and Way.

So it'd be like a story of some sort I guess.

So this person (guy girl whatever) commits suicide. Someone (either a loved one to the dead person, or someone investigating the death [if this is the case, the person committing suicide had few/no loved ones]) goes through dead person's crap and finds all these footnotes and researches and concepts to a story that this person was in the process of planning for, but never got around to starting.
Being someone who cares about these things, the protagonist would be chilled by the fact that this world never had a chance to be born. With this said, the protagonist would go about the task of piecing together this story, and, in extension, would piece together the story of the dead person's life. Protagonist would probably actually use the dead person's story and, well, turn it into a story that others could enjoy (so like a novel or a comic or whatever.)

It could be one of those stories within a story. It sounds like it could potentially be a good novel prompt.

So emptied my message box (FINALLY)- the grand total was 9,223 messages and counting. And, as I suspected, it contributed a lot to how wishy-washy I was with replying to messages. My message box reflects the state of my bedroom, I think. But, point being, I replied to all of the messages since that point, and am taking the fresh start.

SO, THIS JOURNAL ACTUALLY DOESN'T BEGIN WITH ME BEATING MYSELF UP FOR NOT REPLYING TO MESSAGES!

Sooo, what is today.
Today is um... Fuck what was I going to write here again?!

Oh. OH YES~

So today, I got some lovely stationary-esque things, and am all set to replying to Brinney's letters- SPEAKING OF WHICH CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING A JOB AT TOYS-R-US, MILADY!! OH I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

That will be discussed further on paper, later.

IN OTHER NEWS.

My spring piece for is aaallmost done.
Well actually no not almost, but I'm coloring at this point, so it's getting there. Got myself some pretty pencil crayon tools, too, so I'll be fiddling with those as time goes on. Umumum.

The main reason for this journal though, is I'm somewhat bored with life. I'm not gonna ask for an art trade (That's the equivalent of wine to an recovering alcoholic) But I want to take a shot at collaberations- so whether that's drawing or coloring, I'd be super-happy if someone wanted to do stuff with me

Aside from that, I've been poking around for someone to roleplay Akuroku with me, because I need to satisfy that craving. Any takers? o3o

IN OTHER NEWS:
I got a haircut. It's a little bit different to something that I'm used to, but personally, I like it. I FEEL LIKE A TRUE LESBIAN~
What else... Huhuhu~ I just crossed something off my to-do list. Next up, the Baxter/Doug reply!

AND ALSO, ALEX AND COURTNEY TAGGED ME WITH THE SAME THING. SO, I'M GONNA DOUBLE-WHAMMY IT FOR YOU GUYS! It's that ten-fact thing, but again, since it was two tags... And no, I'm not tagging anyone in return.

1. My name is Shayla Dayne Kowalchuk. -Doesn't sound like much, but how many of you actually know my name, hey? ;D If you do, there's less chance of you knowing my middle name.

2. My namesake originates from Ireland, and translates into, "Of the fairy palace".

Go on.

Laugh. My mom also picked my name based off of a stage name that she liked.

3. Speaking of mumsies and stage names, her working profession is an escort- which in lamance terms translates to "legalized hooker". Legit, man.

4. Because some of you are out of the loop on this, a formal introduction would make sense: I have an alter ego/ personality/ imaginary voice-friend named Way Dante. On very rare occasions, I'm sure he's interacted with some of you at least once before. You'll be more acquainted with him later, when KeepSake takes off the ground, as he is one of the main protagonists.

5. My ego is the equivalent to a souffle's- in an oven, it inflates to grand proportions. However, upon being removed from the hot sanctuary, it deflates rapidly.

6. I can predict my next favorite color- it's usually the color that I currently despise the most. Based on that hypothesis, my next favorite color will either be purple or yellow.

7. I love ALL music. This means that, yes, I do in fact listen to rap and pop- the really raunchy stuff included. Everything has merit, even Ke$ha. .... Just, you know, not Rebecca Black.

8. I was unfazed upon watching 2girls1cup.

9. I still have a big craze over wanting to do the perfect Akuroku cosplay- right down to the dating part. I currently have everything on it EXCEPT the dating part, but I'm somehow okay with this.

10. Today, one year ago, I was sitting in Shawndermen's room playing Silent Hill 4 while crying my eyes out at random intervals, hitting the floor with my fists, and inhaling chocolate. TL;DR: I don't take break-ups as well as I think I can.

11. This isn't really a fact more as a really embarrassing confession, but I once had a dream where I made out with Jesse McCartney. -- MOVING ON

12. Speaking of dreams, I have a reoccuring nightmare that I never remember when I wake up. It comes back to me in irrational fragments, like clips of phrases or sounds or lack-of-sounds, and it chills me to the core when I pick up on them. I'm steadily convinced that this is some sort of prophecy, and it freaks me out that I can't remember it.

13. Regardless of where life goes for me, I'm fairly certain that Akuroku will carry through with me. It's stupid to tie myself to something like that, but I do.

14. I hate teenagers.

15. I'm often terrified that this place- my home, my home life, the ever-trailing list of ailments that plagues my family- will be my reality for the rest of my life. I'm slowly being convinced that scraping by alone in a shitty apartment would be better than living where I am now.

16. I list myself as a lesbian because boys freak me the hell out. Upon digging into this fear, I realize that boys freak me out because I think that all of them follow a social stereotype of sex, no emotions, all-brawn, and 'Alpha' tendencies. In extension, I think this fear may be the reason I identify Way as a male- so, at the very least, there will always be one exception to the social ruling.

17. I love dresses, I love make-up, and pink isn't actually the worst color in the world. However, you have to be a pretty damn special person to see this side of me.

18. I have difficulties with the word 'love' when it comes to telling it to people. I feel as though the minute I give them that word, I risk them leaving me.

19. I've been drunk a total of one time in my life. Nothing changes; I just feel like I'm wearing a large hat and I whine more. THANK GOD.

20. Despite how much I love video games, I fucking SUCK at them. ;D


No tags for you guys.
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